


monogram

by Spring_Emerald



Series: Alphabetically Arranged [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, HQ Rarepair Week 2020, M/M, Mechanic Moniwa Kaname, Pining, Pro Volleyball Player Ushijima Wakatoshi, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Ushi is a young master
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spring_Emerald/pseuds/Spring_Emerald
Summary: monogram (n.) - a design consisting of two or more alphabetic letters combined or interlaced, commonly one's initials, often printed on stationery, embroidered on clothing, etc.; a single emblematic or decorative letter; applied initial.-----Away from the press conference, watching from the overhead television situated on one corner of the auto repair shop, Moniwa stands amongst vehicles that he can easily fix and with teary eyes, he slowly looks down on the bold initials on his work worn and calloused hands and wonders if he can also fix his broken heart.For Haikyuu Rarepair Week 2020 Day 5:imagine|station/airport|soulmate au
Relationships: Moniwa Kaname/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Alphabetically Arranged [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726354
Comments: 16
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've been wanting to do a soulmate au for UshiMoni and I've been nursing this idea for some time now. It's not the full realization of my original version, more like a condensed one, but the way i would like to tell it remains the same so, might as well before I lose motivation to write it completely. Anyway, I rambled enough.
> 
> Enjoy!

**_5 years ago_ **

“Congratulations on making the team, Ushijima-san!” The reporter says. “Fresh from a successful high school volleyball career and now you’re playing pro. How does that make you feel?”

Ushijima politely takes the microphone being passed to him by the assistant coach. “Thank you very much,” he nods. “It does not feel any different. I have new teammates but I still get to play volleyball and that is what I have always wanted to do. I am honored to be part of Schweiden Adlers and will see to it that their trust in me is not misplaced.”

“We’re looking forward to your first game with the team. Also, we heard from an inside source that you have another reason to celebrate –you recently got your soul mate mark!” The reporter, in their enthusiasm failed to notice how Ushijima stiffened then, his hand holding the microphone slightly tightening. “Would you tell us more about that? Do you have an idea who they are?” They continue.

“Uh, I did, yes.” The admission brought about a wave of murmurs among the press and more shutters and flashes of cameras focused on him. “There is not much to tell. I now bear the initials of someone I probably know or not on my hands.”

“You must be excited to meet them!”

“Not really,” he says bluntly, and the noise died instantly, everyone surprised by his statement.

“…You’re not excited at the prospect of meeting your soulmate?”

Ushijima shakes his head. “I want to focus on my career first. Thinking about anything else might distract me from that and might hold me back. Meeting my supposed soulmate is the least of my priority.” He says, unrepentant.

The reporter is about to ask for more statement, but the assistant coach had already taken back the microphone from Ushijima and announced that they won’t be accepting any more questions and calls for the end of the press conference.

-

Away from the press conference, watching from the overhead television situated on one corner of the auto repair shop, Moniwa stands amongst vehicles that he can easily fix and with teary eyes, he slowly looks down on the bold initials on his work worn and calloused hands and wonders if he can also fix his broken heart.

\-----

**_Present time_ **

Ushijima should have insisted to go back to his apartment, instead of spending the night in his childhood home. He missed them, but he explained that he needs to be early for training the next day. But his mother was adamant about staying and she’s already guilt tripping the son ‘she never sees anymore’, and he could brush it, but then his grandmother chimed in and well… no one says ‘no’ to the Ushijima matriarch, so he stayed.

Now he’s paying the price of his decision.

He forgot to set his alarm, and his mother, bless her soul, thinking that he’s decided to skip training and excited at the prospect of having breakfast with him, didn’t bother waking him up. Worse, he missed the only bus line that passes the estate and so with he had no choice but to ask to be driven to the nearest train station.

It was going good and all, until the car jerks and stops.

Ushijima looks up from his phone where he’s been drafting a message to the assistant coach that he might run late today. “What happened, Takamura-san?”

The now elderly driver that had been with the family since he can remember gives him an apologetic look. “The car doesn’t want to start, young master.”

Ushijima inhales deeply, purses his lips and frowns. “Can you fix it?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Ushijima reclines on the backseat, pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. He’s not one to be superstitious, but he can’t help but feel that luck isn’t on his side today. He steps out of the car, the heat getting too much, and goes to where Takamura-san is looking over the car’s machinery.

“What’s the problem?”

“It might be the battery, young master,” he says, wiping the sweat across his forehead with the back of his hand. “This car is seldom used since the mistress always uses her own, and the madam seldom leaves the estate.”

“Don’t you have a spare?”

“We do, but I’m not as strong and my hands are not as steady as it used to. I apologize, young master. Perhaps I can call you a cab?”

Ushijima’s thought of that, but he doesn’t want to leave the old man by himself in practically the middle of nowhere, so he declines the offer.

“It’s fine. I already informed my team that I’ll be late.” There’s no point in rushing or stressing himself over his situation, since he’s going to be late either way. “Can’t we call a mechanic or something?”

“Ah, hold on.” Takamura-san opens the passenger door and looks for something in the glove compartment and returns to Ushijima’s side with a pamphlet. “I’ll try to call this number.”

Ushijima leaves him be, opts to make a call of his own to inform his team of his predicament and when he’s done, Takamura-san informs him that a mechanic will be coming.

They didn’t wait for long and soon hears the sound of an approaching motorcycle and Takamura-san moves to meet the mechanic as soon as they parked. Ushijima just watch on as they took off the helmet and he squints studying the man.

They start coming closer and Ushijima’s breath catches and his eyes widen in recognition.

It’s been a while since he saw Moniwa. They’d developed an unlikely friendship that they both found comforting and natural. The last time they saw each other was during Shiratorizawa’s last game at the Interhigh Qualifiers and the last correspondence they had was when Moniwa congratulated him for being recruited by the Adlers, before it was even formally announced to the press.

Then, they just lost contact after that.

Now, seeing him again after all these years feels like a punch to the gut.

“Moniwa,” he doesn’t realize he’s moved until he’s in front of Moniwa and the latter almost bumps into him but stops startled at his appearance. When he looks up, Ushijima sees the same shocked expression he must be wearing.

“U-Ushijima-san...”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... i'm updating the chapter count because this one got long-ish... anyway.
> 
> Enjoy!!

**_5 years ago_ **

His phone has been ringing, interspersed with occasional beeping for the better half of the day, only greedily accumulating the messages and calls but never answering, never returning it. It pains Moniwa to keep ignoring it, but he knows who’s on the other side of the line and he can’t talk to Ushijima yet. He doesn’t think he can take it, not when Moniwa is still figuratively bleeding from the wound Ushijima inadvertently caused with his blunt statement that morning.

He’s going to ask Moniwa if he’s alright, worried about him and Moniwa can’t trust himself that he won’t break down as he attempt to lie, so he doesn’t risk it. Sniffing, he takes his pillow and squeezes it over his head, coverring his ears to muffle the sound of his phone, while quietly willing it to stop. He doesn’t know how long he stayed like that, until eventually, it does.

He breathes easier then, when it stays quiet, and he begins to gain clarity. It’s not Ushijima’s fault, Moniwa reasons. He doesn’t know.

Honestly, Moniwa isn’t completely sure either that Ushijima really is his soul mate. It could be anyone that has the initials _W_ and _U_ -the completely noticeable black and bold letters spanning whole of his palms. They need to confirm it directly. They need to touch hands, touch marks, and if it burns, then it’s all the sign they need.

But they can’t do that, can they? He can’t ask Ushijima _now_.

Moniwa laughs wetly, leaving his pillow refuge to sit upright in his bed. Perhaps he’s being foolish. They didn’t even reveal the initials of Ushijima’s soul mate, so who’s to say he has Moniwa’s initials? He probably has a different set of initials after all. So really, it’s pointless to get hurt over something unsure. It’s foolish and stupid and unbecoming and…

And it hurts, his heart smarts, constricting in his chest, blurry eyes looking down on the damned initials on his hands, as fresh tears fall on it. He doesn’t need any physical confirmation. He knows, in an inexplicable way that it’s Ushijima. Even before the marks, he’s already been drawn to Ushijima, attracted to Ushijima, wished with all his being that it’s Ushijima.

Strong, stubborn Ushijima, who he admires and wholeheartedly supports, who would reach greater heights and gain greater achievements.

Simple, steadfast Ushijima, who deserves the best, who doesn’t need - _doesn’t_ _want_ a soul mate.

_Where do unwanted soul mates go?_ Moniwa wonders before he comes to a decision.

\-----

Ushijima flops down on his bed, holding his phone above him, thumb hesitantly hovering over the call button, eyebrows stitched together in a worried frown. He wants to call Moniwa again, maybe he’ll answer this time and make sure he’s alright. But it’s also already late and he’d hate to disturb him if he’s already sleeping.

In the end he exits his contacts, promptly locks his phone and puts it on the bedside table with a sigh.

Today had been eventful, to say the least. And he’d been looking forward to tell Moniwa about it –the announcement, his soul mark, the way the assistant coach gently admonished him after the press conference about saying what he said about it. He still doesn’t think that it’s big of a deal, though he’d realized that he may have been a bit cruel and completely careless with his words.

It would’ve been nice to talk to Moniwa about it, and maybe he can help him make sense of the sudden, unexplainable loss he is feeling.

\-----

**_Present Time_ **

Moniwa ran on autopilot and fixed the car as robotically and efficiently as possible, still reeling over the unexpected reunion. He doesn’t remember the things he’d said while tinkering with the machinery, and has vague recollection of the stiff bow and curt goodbye he’d given Ushijima and his kind driver. He doesn’t know how he made it back to the shop, considering the condition he’d been in, and just realizes with a jolt that he’s already there.

He quickly hides himself between the cars parked in the shop’s garage to give himself a sliver of privacy to process what just happened.

He’d fantasized how he’d wanted their reunion to happen, way too many times over the last couple of years. In different scenarios too, mostly serendipitous ones like a chance encounter in a café or bumping to each other while doing their morning run. Some have Moniwa seek him out, purposefully meets him like watching an exhibition game and approaching him after to ask for an autograph, or reach out to him through their disrupted but not forgotten contact, and many more other scenarios, differing in minute details, but all having a common denominator of Moniwa being in a point of his life where he’s finally prepared to meet Ushijima again.

And not the bumbling reality of him being in his dirty jumpsuit, smelling of grease and smoke and sweat; not him shutting down completely in panic and unable to make even a pathetic attempt at small talk. And being not (yet) the best version of himself that he can present to Ushijima, one that he can hopefully consider as a soulmate.

Moniwa takes a deep breath and clenches his gloved hands into a tight fist repeatedly, a thing that he does to ground himself. It’s alright. It’s only once. It’s not like he’s going to see and meet Ushijima again in the near future that soon, because he’s probably busy, like Moniwa is. Busier perhaps, because he’s a pro-athlete now and his schedule is possibly packed full of training and practices and other things that a person of his caliber does.

What happened earlier was sudden and unexpected, but it’s going to be the only time. With this thought, Moniwa calms himself enough to spend the rest of his work time and the remainder of his day in relative ease.

\---

So… it seems like he can’t stop seeing Ushijima _everywhere_.

It’s like his chance encounter scenarios are being brought to life, his wildest fantasies coming true but in the worst possible way and in the form of a poorly written sketch. Only, it consists of him turning tail as soon as he sees the back of Ushijima’s head checking the fresh produce of his go-to fruit vendor, or hiding behind walls and in-between dark alleys when he catches glimpse of Ushijima coming from the other direction while he’s jogging.

What takes the cake though, is that Ushijima visited the shop where he works at. He found the address, went there and looked for him.

He’s coming back from his break and spies a familiar back and quickly ducks behind a nearby dumpster. He glares and curses softly at the sky, at the gods, at the fates or whoever, whatever was responsible for this, crinkling his nose at the smell but willfully ignores it as he finds himself hiding from Ushijima, again.

What is he doing here? How did he find he even find this place? Moniwa recalls handing a card to the old driver and curses his autopilot self for that. Okay, so that explains how Ushijima found out about this place.

Now, the million yen question is why is he here?

He jumps when his phone vibrated and he fishes it out from one of his jumpsuit pockets and takes the call from one of his co-workers.

“ _Oi, Moniwa-kun_ ,” Sakae-san greets in a gruff voice. “ _Ya done wit yer break yet_?”

“A-Almost done, Sakae-san. Uhm, why?”

“ _Well, ya better hurry. Someone’s here lookin’ for ya._ ”

Moniwa gulps. “A customer?”

“ _Nah. Don’t think he is. Just asked for ya._ ” There’s some rustling from the other side of the line and Moniwa takes a peak to see what’s going on. He didn’t need his phone to hear that Sakae-san asked for Ushijima’s name, it was loud enough to be heard from across the street.

“ _Said his name’s Ushijima. D’ya know him?_ ”

From what Moniwa can see from his vantage point, Sakae-san is already doing his ‘gangster’ posturing on Ushijima. Puffed chest and squared shoulders. Moniwa can’t see it clearly but he can tell that Sakae-san’s giving Ushijima a once over with that intimidating frown of his meant to scare away any lesser men.

Ushijima isn’t a lesser man, just a confused and unperturbed one, but Moniwa hates to think what might happen to him if Sakae-san deems him dangerous or perceives him as arrogant.

Against his better judgment he hurriedly says “Y-Yeah. I know him, Sakae-san.”

“ _Huh_ ,” is all Sakae-san says before he continues. “ _Well, come back here soon then._ ” Then, the line goes off.

Moniwa leans back on the wall, cringing at himself for making that stupid decision to tell the truth. He wonders how long he can stall, thinks about making up some excuse of not being able to return, but Sakae-san would be suspicious and he still has a car to fix and ugh. Dammit, what’s he going to do?

A stray cat makes the decision for him, when it jumps out of the dumpster, scaring Moniwa making him jump in return. And oh god, he’s starting to smell like it and he can’t have that, ugh. He takes another peak at the shop across the street before looking down on his gloved hands, fingers pressing hard on covered palms.

It’s okay, he tells himself. It’s hidden. If he can’t see it, no one can.

\---

“There he is,” Sakae-san drawls upon seeing him approach. Ushijima quickly turns around to look at him and Moniwa’s confident steps faltered a little. He stops a few away from Ushijma.

“Thank you, Sakae-san. I’ll take it from here,” he says with a nod of his head, and the old mechanic waves a dismissing hand before he leaves them alone.

“Moniwa,” he says with a small smile, eyes alight with happiness Moniwa hadn’t seen in a while.

“Ushijima-san. Is there something wrong with the car? Does it need fixing again?”

Ushijima’s smile gives way to a light frown. “Uh, no,” he says with shake of his head. “The car is good. You fixed it well.”

“Oh. What are you doing here then?” Moniwa’s not used to being distant, cold, that as soon as the words came out of his mouth, the beginnings of guilt stirs in his gut. It was made even worse when Ushijima clearly hadn’t expected the treatment, what with the wide eyed, sort of betrayed expression that passed over his face.

“I…I came to see you,” Ushijima answers truthfully. “Maybe, we can talk?”

Moniwa feels his heart softening at the bashful display, but… “I’m sorry, Ushijima-san, but I’m-” he thumbs at the cars behind him, “-busy. I mean, there’s a car that I have to fix and I need to finish it today so I can’t uhm, talk.” He scratches the back of his neck while Ushijima nods at him.

“Of course. You’re right. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“It’s alright.”

It’s clear from Ushijima’s body language that he doesn’t want to leave yet, but he bows at Moniwa all the same and eventually walks away. Moniwa can’t help but think that Ushijima’s broad back looks sad like that while watching him walk away and it tugs hard at his heart. He bites down on his lips and huffs.

“Ushijima-san!” He calls out, and it must just be Moniwa’s imagination but Ushijima quickly turns around and is striding back towards him.

“Yes?” Did Ushijima really have to look so hopeful? Moniwa shakes his head, dispelling the thought.

“I get off at five. I mean, if you’re free then maybe we can meet later, after…?”

Ushijima smiles wide this time making Moniwa’s heart catch a little. “I’ll be here then.”

Moniwa exhales as he smiles, hoping it doesn’t look forced as it feels on his face and nods.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry for changing the chapter count again. But I promise, the next is the last one. I'm sorry for leaving you with a cliffhanger though. I went from not updating for a month and a half to going a little over 2k words and only two-thirds done with the chapter :(
> 
> Anyway, please endure a little more. Enjoy!

“So…” Hoshiumi says, sitting beside him on the bench while he’s putting his discarded clothes inside his duffel bag. “You’ve been leaving on time for the past few days.”

Ushijima only gives him a non-committal hum, busy as he was. Hoshiumi’s able to endure the non-response for a few seconds before he crosses his arms with a huff. “Oi. You usually stay behind for more training and had to be threatened to be benched for you to stop before you actually do. What’s changed?”

Ushijima gives him a side glance and much to Hoshiumi’s infuriation, he just shrugs.

“Nothing huh?” Hoshiumi murmurs under his breath. “Kageyama saw you eating with someone after training.” The noise inside the locker room died, and somewhere, from the general direction of Kageyama’s locker, a metal door clanged shut. “He said the person looked familiar, but he can’t remember who exactly, so I’m assuming they’re someone you know from high school. Care to share?”

Ushijima looks around the room, and try as they may, his teammates can barely hide their curiosity. He sighs. “He’s just an old friend.”

“Are you sure he’s not someone _more_?” Hoshiumi shoulder bumps him and waggles his eyebrows. His insinuation is lost to Ushijima, however, who only raises a questioning eyebrow.

Hoshiumi rolls his eyes and sighs. “Is he your soul mate?”

At this point, his teammates stopped any pretense of not listening to the conversation, and Ushijima feels their eyes on him, waiting for his response.

The question gave him a pause. He remembers Moniwa and the way he seems distant, guarded. whenever they meet; thinks about the fingerless gloves he’s constantly wearing and the way he constantly picks on them, a clear nervous habit he hadn’t had before.

“No,” he admits with a frown, though he doesn’t understand why telling them that upsets him. “No, he isn’t. He’s just someone I haven’t seen for a long time, that’s all.”

Hoshiumi looks at him suspiciously, but his expression soon clears, and he shrugs. “Oh, well. If he isn’t, then he isn’t.” And with that, he stands up and leaves Ushijima alone, while their other teammates also resume whatever they were doing.

Ushijima zips his bag, then looks at his hands and stares at the small, unassuming initials ‘K’ and ‘M’ of his soul mate, located at the exact center of his palms. The coincidence hadn’t escaped Ushijima and he’s given it more thought than he’d like to admit.

He doesn’t allow himself to hope, but he can’t help the thought of how nice it would be if that’s actually the case.

\-----

They find themselves in a popular and well occupied izakaya for their outing that night. It’s not crowded as it could get, but there’s enough chattering around them that they both need to lean forward when talking just so the other could hear.

Except right now, they aren’t. They’ve been sitting quietly for a few minutes now, just letting the buzz wash around them. The waiter just delivered their fresh mugs of beer and yakitori but neither of them had made any move to eat nor drink.

Moniwa looks contemplative, mindlessly picking on his gloves as his mind seemed to drift somewhere else. Ushijima itches to know what he’s thinking, but he’s itching more to know the deal with Moniwa’s newfound staple accessory.

“Moniwa?”

The other immediately looks up at him with a questioning hum. “What’s the story with the gloves?” He asks with a nod directed at Moniwa’s hands.

Moniwa blinks at him before he finally registers the question. “What? My- oh. Uhm, uh… ah-” Clearly startled, he sits up straight and quickly takes his hands off the table and hides it away from him.

“I’m sorry,” Ushijima frowns, regrets asking, because Moniwa’s now clearly uncomfortable and skittish. He couldn’t meet his eyes and instead was darting around the room, most likely looking for someplace to escape. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He looks down sheepishly and drags his beer closer and takes a small sip.

“Ah…no. It’s just…I ah, I… I had an accident. While fixing a car. I was new then, so I was careless and…I burned myself? So… it’s scarred and ugly and sensitive and-and-and… yeah.” Moniwa smiles but it’s tight and unconvincing before he clumsily grabs his mug and hastily drinks his beer.

The whole ordeal was a little painful to look at and Ushijima just knows that Moniwa isn’t telling the truth and he knows he shouldn’t push it, Moniwa’s nervous enough as it is, but there’s something telling him that this is something he needs to uncover. He doesn’t know why that is, since he’s been told that he’s oblivious and unmindful when it comes to these kinds of things, but he listens to that voice instead of the other.

“Oh. Then, what about your soul mark?”

Moniwa chokes on what he’s drinking and slams his mug on the table. “ _What?_ ”

Ushijima takes a few paper towel and hands it to him wordlessly and waits until Moniwa’s finished cleaning up.

“Your soul mark,” he repeats. And Moniwa must have been expecting him to let it go, judging the wide eyed, panicked look he gives him.

“I don’t have it.” Moniwa says with a vehement shake of his head. But he must have noticed Ushijima’s frown deepening because he amends it immediately. “I mean…I, I don’t know. It hadn’t appeared yet before the accident and it’s scarred now so… I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath and meets Ushijima’s look squarely. “I guess I don’t have one.”

It makes Ushijima pause. It’s reasonable that it’s a touchy subject, given his circumstance. But there’s something bothering him, the way Moniwa said that he doesn’t have one. It’s too defensive. Relentless as he is now, Ushijima opens his mouth but Moniwa beats him to it when he shoots a hand up and flags a waiter and orders another mug of beer.

And another. And another. Just to keep Ushijima from asking. Not that Ushijima plans to, now, seeing how Moniwa is well on his way on becoming drunk and he can’t even ask him about something else.

“Moniwa, I think that’s enough,” Ushijima puts a hand on Moniwa’s arms, discouraging him from drinking any more. “You’ve had too much already.”

Moniwa sluggishly blinks up at him and he’s afraid that he will insist, but thankfully, he doesn’t and instead slams the mug, yet again, on the table, sloshing the drink, some of it getting on Ushijima’s sleeves.

“I… shud be ‘edding ‘ome,” Moniwa slurs, already swaying on his chair as he tries to stand. He almost falls, but thankfully, Ushijima’s already beside him and catches him in time and makes him sit again.

“I won’t send you home like this. Not alone.” Ushijima carefully turns Moniwa’s head, so his nose isn’t digging on his torso and cause him to suffocate, and cradles it with big, gentle hands.

“I’mm be fiiiime~” is Moniwa’s muffled response, cheeks squished on Ushijima’s side as it is.

“It’s dangerous.” Ushijima does his best of reaching for his wallet without jostling Moniwa too much. He eventually accomplishes paying for their meals and drinks and had even dragged his bag across the floor with his foot to bring it closer to him.

“We’ll take a cab, alright?” He doesn’t get a reply. It’s only then he’s noticed that Moniwa’s already fallen asleep. Seeing as he doesn’t know Moniwa’s address, and his place is near enough, it wasn’t a hard decision to make for Ushijima to take him home.

\-----

Moniwa stayed asleep for majority of the ride on Ushijima’s back, back to Ushijima’s apartment, which earned them, well him, lingering looks from passersby. He doesn’t know how many people recognized him, if they did at all, since he opted to wear a face mask and decided to forego his team jersey in favor of the extra hoodie he always brings along, but he still hopes that they didn’t. Ushijima doesn’t think he’s famous enough to warrant this outing being in the news or making rounds in social media, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. And he doesn’t want to drag Moniwa to it, should it happen.

Thankfully, it was, all in all, a good and calm walk. He had to stop a few times to adjust Moniwa on his back once he feels him slipping down, but other than that and the ticklish feeling of Moniwa’s hair against his neck, and the soft grunts he made that made him shiver involuntarily once or twice, he found it easier than what it looks like than when they portray it in television shows.

Once he's safely deposited Moniwa on his bed, he got himself a glass of water and wonders what he’ll do with his drunk companion. He tries to think about how it happened in that one K-drama Tendou’s urged him to watch, when a lady character got drunk while spending the time supposedly taking care of a sick guy character. But he can only remember the guy blocking the sunlight with his hand in front of the lady’s face. It’s not like he can do that now, seeing as it’s still dark out and his curtains are drawn shut and he doubts the nightlight are that bright to cause Moniwa any discomfort.

In the end, he had to resort to searching answers from the internet and found some sensible advice and prepares a basin beside the bed just in case, and a glass of water waiting on the bedside table. Moniwa doesn’t look like he’ll be waking up anytime soon, so Ushijima just proceeds to making sure he’s comfortable before settling beside him on the bed.

Oddly enough, Ushijima doesn’t feel sleepy, despite having a tiring practice day and having some alcohol in his system. He feels light and excited for some reason, and the feeling intensifies whenever he looks down at a peacefully sleeping Moniwa, pulling a smile on his face. He not sure why that is but having Moniwa with him just feels so… right.

Immersed in this feeling as he is, he belatedly realizes that he’s carding his hands across Moniwa’s hair, until he shifts on the bed with drawn out groan and turns to his side, flopping an arm down in front of his face. This calls Ushijima’s attention back to Moniwa’s glove covered hands. The intense curiosity, the need to find out what Moniwa’s been hiding comes back, but the more reasonable part of him that tells him that it’s disrespectful and Moniwa’s not going to appreciate it, might be upset with him even, wins out.

Just as he’s convincing himself that he’s making the right choice and that it’s what any decent person, a good friend, should do, Moniwa groans again, moves and scratches at his nose and recoils when it meets the rough material of his gloves.

Ushijima, who has since stopped brushing Moniwa’s hair, watches as Moniwa grumbles about ‘stupid gloves’. His eyes widen in surprise when Moniwa starts clumsily fiddling with the gloves, the sound of ripping velcro loud in the otherwise quiet room. It’s then that Ushijima starts worrying.

Moniwa’s clearly out of it and is probably unaware that he’s with company at the moment, and Ushijima wants to stop him from taking it off, resolute on wanting to help Moniwa keep his secret safe, but before he can, Moniwa’s already successfully taken the glove off and carelessly throws it away to the darkness, and is now getting a head start on removing the other one.

Ushijima’s unable to do anything to stop him at this point and just looks away, turns his head, and looks at anything that is not Moniwa’s glove-free hand, feeling embarrassed as if he’d been watching something he shouldn’t. He keeps his eyes away even until the grumbling and rustling stops and Moniwa seems to have settled down again.

He’s caught up in the thought of Moniwa getting mad at him come morning, when he jolts in surprise and immediately freezes up when he feels a hand land over his own. He swallows, waiting for something else to happen, but nothing does.

Once the initial panic recedes, confusion replaces it, making him frown.

Now that he’s focusing on it, Moniwa’s palm on top of his own definitely doesn’t feel scarred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The awaited revelation, confrontation, and resolution. I'll try to write it sooner this time but we'll see. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done HOOZAH!!!
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support and patience! I'm so happy to bring this to its conclusion. 
> 
> I hope you like it! 
> 
> ENJOY!

Moniwa grunts softly, squinting at the brightness hitting his eyes and rolls around the bed, wanting to sink further into the soft mattress and continue sleeping. His bed never felt this soft and he doesn’t want to part with it yet. He wraps the comforter around him and inhales the clean scent of it, missing the flowery smell of the fabric softener the laundry place he usually frequents use. He absentmindedly rubs a hand across his face to swipe at the itch he felt there and belatedly notice the lack of roughness of his glove.

He wants to let the thoughts about the whereabouts of his gloves go, but he can’t recall where he’d put it last night. He doesn’t even remember taking them off in the first place. And that lack of memory and certainty cause him to finally wake up fully and sit up on a bed that, now that he’s conscious, clearly doesn’t belong to him and looks around the room that is definitely not the one he has in his apartment.

Whose place is this, anyway? He tries to think back to yesterday’s events and finally bits and pieces come back, like how Ushijima had waited for him again, how he’d agreed to drinking last night with him… his eyes widen in horror.

The rush of panic jolts him out of the bed, and he sways as soon as he stands, almost losing his balance due to the sudden rush, but there are more important things because he can’t see his gloves anywhere. He’d been too dependent on it for the past few years, considers it his prized possession and a thing he doesn’t leave the house without. The panic of being parted from it in such an unfamiliar place makes him hits him. He brings his clutched hands in front of his chest, keeping it close in fear that someone might see, that someone had seen the letters on his palm, even though he’s obviously alone.

Which brings about another round of panicking because _oh god_ , had Ushijima seen his hands? What if he’d seen and realized that Moniwa’s lied to him about the burn scars? Realized what Moniwa’s keeping from him? He’d been unusually curious about it. Which makes him think. Was he even the one who took off his gloves in the first place, or was it Ushijima who did, to abate his curiosity?

Moniwa crouches down, ignoring the blood rush and faint feeling at the sudden movement, willing himself to breathe, to calm down and not make his situation even messier. He clearly had been stupid to let his guard down, but he will berate himself about that later. Now, now he needs to find his gloves so he can leave immediately.

He doesn’t notice the door open, and he nearly jumps off his skin despite the soft, low voice who called his name.

“Are you alright?” Ushijima asks in concern.

“Please don’t come in.” Moniwa exclaims without looking at him. “Where are my gloves?” He clutches his hands in his chest, keeping it away from Ushijima’s sight. He’s breathing heavily, his heart is pounding like crazy and he’s feeling really faint. He’s a thread away from completely freaking out, and only getting his gloves back keeping him focused.

“Moniwa-”

“Where are my gloves?!”

Ushijima startles at the tone. “Inside the drawer,” he answers quickly. “Do you need-”

“I’m fine. Just… can you lea- can I be alone, please?”

It takes a few moments, but Moniwa hears the door close and as soon as it does, he dives at the drawer and snatched his gloves and hastily puts in on, scratching himself at the process. He stays there, backed in the corner by the bed and drawer and takes in deep breaths, willing himself to calm down enough for him to have the energy and capacity to leave.

He doesn’t want to go outside and see Ushijima, he’s not ready, but he has to if he wants to leave. Finally, he musters enough courage to stand and be done with it. If he doesn’t come out soon, Ushijima might just try to come in again, and he doesn’t really want that. He can’t.

He slowly opens the door and sighs with a small relief that Ushijima’s not waiting outside. He does find him pacing in the living room, and he stops when he sees Moniwa.

“I’m sorry about that.” Moniwa says in haste, avoiding Ushijima’s eyes. “Thanks for last night. I- I’ll leave now.” He rushes to the door but Ushijima’s in front of him in two strides, blocking his exit, and he almost whines because he’d been _so close_.

“I… Please… I made breakfast. At least eat.” Ushijima sounds so unsure, far cry from how he usually is.

Moniwa shakes his head, pointedly looking at the floor. “N-No. No need. I need to go,” he sidesteps, but finds himself blocked again, and this time, Ushijima’s stepped closer, his socked feet now almost directly in Moniwa’s line of vision.

He also sees a hand coming up to his face, but Ushijima must have seen him flinch because the long fingers curled on themselves before it can reach him.

However, the soft, pleading “Please, Moniwa. Please look at me,” does.

Maybe one day, Moniwa’s going to be immune to the way Ushijima is soft for him, but today is not that day.

Even though he knows he will regret it, he lifts his head and looks into Ushijima’s deep, olive eyes.

Suddenly, the overwhelming stress and panic brought by the day, the resentment he tries not to feel; the weight of the secret he’s been keeping; the affection he still has and cannot hide… culminates as unbidden tears that fall from his eyes.

\---

Ushijima looks at Moniwa with wide eyes, rattled at the sudden outburst of emotion from him, wanting to wipe his tears, wanting to hug and comfort him. He does neither but takes Moniwa to the couch and makes him sit, while he hastily fetches a glass of water.

Moniwa is still sobbing when he comes back, and he hesitantly sits beside him and carefully smoothed a hand on Moniwa’s shaking back. His sobs dwindle down into sniffles, eventually, and he’s deemed it safe to offer the water, which Moniwa took.

“I’m sorry you had to see that” he says thickly.

Ushijima shakes his head, an unspoken ‘ _it’s alright_ ’. It’s kind of painful to see Moniwa like this, especially after the years they haven’t had any contact. But just because that’s the case, he still wants to be someone Moniwa can feel safe to confide to. He tells him that as much.

All fight from Moniwa is gone, replaced with something akin to resigned acceptance. Perhaps it’s time to stop running away, and time to confront what has caused them to be in this predicament so they can both move on, in whichever direction this conversation will take them.

“I lied to you,” he starts. “About my hands. And my soulmate marks.”

Since it’s easier to show Ushijima than tell him, he peels his gloves off and while there is still hesitation, still the ingrained habit of keeping it hidden, he forces himself to bare it all and finally, finally reveals his palms to the very same person he said he’ll never show it to.

The soothing hand on his back stops and Ushijima inhales and stiffens beside him.

“My initials,” he whispers.

“It could be anyone,” Moniwa says, out of habit.

“No, that’s me.” Ushijima replies with conviction, as sure as his spike. Moniwa looks at him, then down to the hands that Ushijima also shows, palms-up.

He doesn’t see it a first, took a moment to find it, but in the middle of Ushijima’s large palm are letters.

Moniwa gasps, tears gathering in his eyes because his initials are staring right back at him.

“We’re…” he starts but cannot finish. He’s been denying it for so long despite wanting it to be true, but now it’s here, staring right in front of him, the possibility… the hope he doesn’t know he’s still harboring sparks, but he can’t. Not yet.

He takes the initiative, feeling braver than he’s ever been in his life and hovers his hand over Ushijima’s. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if it doesn’t burn. It’s cruel to have everything he wants, right in front of him only to have it pulled away at the very last moment.

Their palms finally kiss, the ‘W’ on top of ‘K’, and at first nothing happens. And Moniwa’s terrified at the thought that he’d needlessly suffered all this time, until a stinging pain shoots up coming from their connected palms, and travels over their arms, fire licking their nerves, warming up their whole bodies. It lasts only a few seconds, but it only needed that fleeting moment to confirm forever.

Moniwa cries for an entirely different reason. Ushijima finally takes him in his arms.

\---

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ushijima can’t help but ask, once they settle down. He asks, even though he knows the answer.

“You know why I didn’t tell you.” Moniwa scoffs wetly. “You were starting to make your lifelong dream come true. I’m so happy for you and I wanted to be there for you, _with_ you but,” he sniffs, fresh tears spilling across his cheeks. “You didn’t want a soulmate; you didn’t want _me_. And I couldn’t hold you back, can I? I wouldn’t do that you.” He starts sobbing again, and every shaky breath he takes stabs Ushijima’s heart, and he thinks that no amount of apology can make it better.

“I’m so sorry, Moniwa,” he still says, wiping the tears with the pads of his thumbs. Gods, how sorry he is for causing him that kind of pain. For causing them this kind of mess. For denying them time they could’ve been together, because he knows that now.

How wrong he was about how his soulmate would just hold him back, because he knows, without a sliver of doubt that everything would have been better if Moniwa had been there with him. He doesn’t regret his decision, would never regret volleyball, it’s part of who he is and what he will always be. But what he does regret, _so, so much_ , are his words.

“I realized how wrong I was, how misguided I was about the notion of soulmates when I met Iwaizumi in the US when I visited my Dad.”

He tells him about how it was an unexpected meeting but a pleasant one. How easy and fun it had been to talk to someone familiar, their shared love for volleyball an obvious topic of conversation, until it eventually branched out to what their respective teammates and other people they know have been up to.

He already knows Oikawa’s in Argentina -had been for a few years. He’s also heard the rumor that the two are in a relationship, but it still came as a shock to him to learn that they are actual soulmates.

He recalls being so confused at the thought of them being far apart, and more importantly, how fine they seem to be in that situation. Both are clearly driven to follow their passions. It’s not something that’s holding them back, instead it’s a force that keeps them moving forward.

“I will never forget what he told me. After that, I did a lot of reflecting and I understood how mistaken I had been. How calloused I was to say and do that to my soulmate -to you.”

Moniwa’s just looking at him, hanging onto his every word. “What did he say?”

Ushijima stares deeply into his eyes, feeling some of his own tears gather. “He said that it didn’t matter that they’re apart that moment. Because being soulmates is the assurance that at the end of it all, once they’ve done what they both wanted to do and became who they wanted to be, they will always have each other.

“Moniwa, I want nothing more than to undo the hurt I’ve caused you for these past few years. I would if I could.” Ushijima gingerly takes his hands in his, and still the phantom feeling of the confirmation of their bond tingles Moniwa’s palms. “I didn’t realize it back then, but since we’ve lost contact, since you’ve been gone from my life, something had been missing. Now I know why. I guess a part of me already knew that you’re my soulmate even before I did, even before we had each other’s initials.”

He laces their fingers together and clasps Moniwa’s hands in his tightly as he brings it up to his lips and kiss it reverently. “But I can only make up for it now, and I will make it up to you however you want, for the rest of our lives, if you’ll allow me.”

Moniwa realizes he’s wrong then, about being immune to Ushijima being soft, because he doesn’t think he will ever be. And even if he miraculously does then, he knows he cannot, will not, deny this man anything. He leans down and gives Ushijima’s hands a kiss of his own.

“I want nothing more.”

\-----

**_A few years later_ **

“Ushijima-san,” the courtside reporter starts, “congratulations on a good game! How does it feel to play your last game, not just of the season, but your pro career?”

“Thank you. It’s still surreal, I’m still having mixed feelings about it, but as they say, all good things must come to an end, eventually. And I’m fortunate I’m able to do that in my own terms, so it’s still good, overall.”

“Fans are eager to know, what’s next for Ushijima Wakatoshi? Are you going to leave volleyball behind? Or…”

“Oh no,” he says with a shake of his head. “I mean, just because I’m not going to play pro anymore doesn’t mean I wouldn’t play at all. It’s something that I’d like to do for a long time, as long as I still can. If not, then something related to it. I do have offers back home, but they’re not my priority now.”

“What’s your top priority at the moment, then?”

“Well, going home, back to Japan, for starters. I got recently engaged with my soulmate, so planning our wedding takes precedence before anything else volleyball related.”

Behind them, the cacophonous shouts of congratulations from his teammates are heard, some having popped party poppers and champagne. Ushijima is all smiles at the camera as he shows off his engagement ring.

\---

Back in Japan, Moniwa watches the interview, while seated comfortably under the kotatsu, the ring in his finger catching the light, but nothing is brighter than his wide smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading! Please give me validation or a pat in the back :D

**Author's Note:**

> I used the same soulmate prompt from one of my kurodai stories which goes like this: _soulmate AU where the initials of your soulmate appears on each of your hand (whether at the palm or at the back of it), but you have no idea which is the initial of the first/last name._
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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